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Gather the facts and then use the DEAL WITH IT formula...
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Assert yourself and say ‘NO’
When another person’s behaviour is having a negative impact on you, and the results you can achieve, you have a right to assert your need for a changed behaviour. Use the DESC formula.
DESCRIBE THE SITUATION
• What are the behaviours you find difficult?
• When and how are they displayed?
• Recent examples of the behaviours
EXPRESS HOW YOU FEEL
• How does the person’s behaviours make you feel?
• How does this impact your feelings towards them?
• How is this affecting your relationship with them?
STATE ALTERNATIVE BEHAVIOUR
• What do you want them to do?
• How do you want them to do it?
• Why the different behaviour is important to you?
• What will happen to the results (for both of you) if the behaviour changes?
• What will happen to the relationship between the two of you?
• Benefits for both of you.
For more insights check out our resource How to be Assertive