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Tackling Behavioural Performance Problems

Gather the facts and then use the DEAL WITH IT formula...

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Weekly Tip Thirty Seven

Confronting Others



Communicate your needs and the reasons for them; state which of your needs are met and unmet; focus on your unmet needs and describe what is currently happening.


Open mind.  Keep an open mind.  The other person might not be unreasonable and might see things from your point of view.  Do not necessarily expect a ‘fight’.  Predict how they might react.


Neutralise your view of the other party.  Avoid personal bias.  Ask open questions, listen, summarise and try to understand their situation and where they are coming from.


Find out their ideas for resolving the conflict.  Build on their ideas.  Add your own ideas, be creative in finding a fresh solution.  Collaborate in viewing the problem from a different angle.


Respond to the other party’s ideas as positively as you can and respond (versus react) to their behaviours.


Own the outcome with the other party.  Agree to jointly work on the solution.


New way of working.  Establish a new norm to work together for a better relationship and results.


Treat the other party with respect. 

Build on the relationship. Improve the results.


For more insights check out our resource How to be assertive


(view all Weekly Tips)